Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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