there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Text me some of your sweat
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
