He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
