oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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