Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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