just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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