the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
