Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize