I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
