a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
