Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
