Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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