Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
