I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I know her cup size but not her name....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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