I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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