I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
