WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
