OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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