Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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