I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
