Bisexual people are plain selfish.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize