We won't sleep together?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
