Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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