i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
