All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
