dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
