last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize