I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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