So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize