we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
MIDGETS
????
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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