Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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