This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize