we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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