you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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