I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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