We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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