Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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