i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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