I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
