I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
