At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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