Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
