her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
