hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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