At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
