whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
