noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
