i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
