glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
