there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
