these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
