Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
