After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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