At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i believe in u and ur pee
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
