He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
