I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize