Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
