The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
