im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
