I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
